Thursday, 23 December 2010

Bird On a Wire..

Have u seen one bird sitting on a wire on its own? It can look lonely, maybe its taking a break from all the other birds, maybe its just passing by. When I came up with the name for my music and blog I was not thinking about how famous the name already was -  most famous for the bird on the wire song by Leonard Cohen - I was extremely bored as I was sitting on the plane on my way to Thailand the first time I went to work with the kids on the Burmese Border and I starting drawing some birds doing all sorts of crazy sadistic things; it ended up being a bit of a joke but thats how the name came to me, just like that Bird On A Wire..

Supa dog

My bedroom is full of colourful things and if you were to walk around inside it you may find out a little bit about me. I have a a dog who also has a disorder  - she is completely co-dependant on me..I caught her staring at me for 15 minutes straight the other day while I sat on the couch reading..mmm..I think she may need some help. Although she did go out the other night with myself and some friends to raise awareness about the orphans who live on the Thai Burmer border. ( She was called the supa dog and she had her supa dog outfit on too. She raised $200 for the kids for christmas not bad for a dog with a disorder. Really I love her, she never bothers me or complains, actually she mostly looks as though she is always smiling. She is not supposed to sleep on my bed at night but how can I say no to those adorable eyes.

It’s like the empty words of a dream, when you wake up you remember…

The Cage

When I was 12 years old I had a pet budgie. It was a beautiful bird, in two tones of blue, and lived in a little cage under the enclosed veranda of my family’s home. I never bothered to close the cage door because I knew the veranda was a safe place for it to fly wherever and whenever it wanted; most of the time it sat on the outside of the cage, whistling a sweet tune.

Freedom is an important thing in life; being able to move about, go where we want and say the things we want to say without feeling trapped. Freedom is also the knowledge that we have a safe place to go when we need it and never being afraid of not knowing where that safe place is.

If a bird is encaged and you never let it out, it will never realise the potential of the bigger space outside to fly in, and often if the cage is left open, it takes a while before the bird will realise it’s free to leave. I read in the paper today about a young woman who was stolen from her family to marry a leader of the LRA (Lords Resistance Army) at a very young age. She was forced to be his subservient wife and do whatever the forceful and cruel man asked her to do. This was her new family and through fear, she obeyed every command. She had a child to him and after five years of being on the run the rebel group leader was shot during another raid of rampage organised by the LRA.

As I read on, the young woman continued to say that at first she mourned her husband’s death, because that was the only life she knew. She didn’t realise that she was free to run if she chose to. The woman recalled staying for another three months before she woke up to a revelation of the man’s cruelty.

She remembered the way in which he treated her and took away any semblance of her free will. She got up the courage to run away to a refuge camp – a place she knew she would be safe.

Just like closing the cage door on a bird which should be free to fly - or even worse, clipping its wings - is like taking away the freedom of a human being’s right to live the way they should be rightfully living. We live in the 20th century, and quite frankly I am more than moved in agitation to know that people are allowed to exist in this world who demoralise the rights of other people for the sake of power and greed.

There are many who live in this world who cannot stand up for themselves; but I know I can be a voice for the downtrodden and oppressed, I wonder what voice you will be?

The world’s darkness seems not so black when I look up at the rainbow; I feel encouraged to know its beautiful colours reach from one end of the earth to the other.

Little words of wisdom

Sometimes I am thinking about life and little words come together so I thought I should share them

On the Road

I was travelling on the plane today heading towards Thailand with my friend Leish. I was looking at her sitting in her seat across the aisle - she had covered her whole body with a blanket so she could sleep. I smiled that smile which reminds me how boring it can be to be a grown up at times. Life should have a balance - almost like a frozen packet of mixed berries, full of delight. Sometimes life can be very complicated and over rated; I don’t think it was ever meant to be that way.

Finding a balance is like learning how to ride a bicycle for the first time. Remember how difficult it was without the training wheels, they were a much needed asset. However once you decided you can do it on your own and lose the trainers, it was a great feeling but still a little frustrating. The pain of falling off a few times may have helped you to keep your balance because you realised how much it hurts to fall, until finally you get the hang of it. Then a confidence arises that boasts “I can do it on my own”. And you’ve succeeded.

That is how I see my journey in life with a pair of training wheels on for different seasons and eventually I lose them because I don’t need them anymore, I’ve learnt how to balance myself.

I try not to get caught up in things which do not seem so important and remember the direction I choose in life is always my own decision. I try not to take the trainers of too soon… but sometimes it’s just what happens and so I have to try again.

Thank you Inga a lovely one who stepped into my life not so long ago to help me with this little venture. Inga is drawing a story as I write away. It will unfold itself together..

If you know me well you would know that I never start anything without a reason. It's actually a part of my personality disorder. That's how most of the things I start are birthed. I don't sleep much unless I am unwell, in fact I cant stand the thought of sleep, if I could I would stay awake 24/7 -the only time I remember sleeping a lot was when I had chronic fatigue syndrome, however that is another story to be told for later.

Into the early hours

I do media art as a hobby late at night into the early hours of the morning. My eyes do suffer the next day, they feel like they are inside out.

                                                                                      Painting by Tricia Ray

I often wonder many thing

I am intrigued by most of my surroundings and often wonder many things - like when I eat a strawberry, I am bemused by the seeds on the outside and I always find myself trying to count how many  there actually are. I decided to do some investigating and this is what I found out.

There are approximately 200 seeds on the outside of a strawberry and it doesn't matter what size it is.. Now I can stop counting.

So how was bird on a wire birthed?

I want to reach out and touch the hearts of many but often many hearts are bruised and battered and healing often passes them by.. Some hearts have been stolen and others trodden upon. So one day I picked up my guitar and wrote a song for those who are silently calling out.

Song - I'll get you back

I spotted the moon

I looked up out of the car window today and I spotted the moon. The moon was mostly round except it had a corner missing. It moved in front of the blue tapestry sky as I drove by I wish I knew what the moon was thinking today.

Song - Girl and The Moon

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Sometimes I sit on the end of my bed and cry because I am afraid all the nice people have decided to leave this world, I wonder where they will go?